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T. Boone Pickens Says Oil Will Reach $150 Per Barrel

May 22nd, 2008 Posted in Companies, National News

T. Boone Pickens is to the oil market what Oprah is to…well…everything else. Tonight, on Glenn Beck (aka Mr. “I Look Like A Liberal But Am A Total Conservative Kissass”) Pickens predicted that by the end of 2008, oil prices could soar to an amazing $150 per barrel.

“Look, I’m not going to say we’ll end the year at $150, but we’ll see it by the end of the year,” Pickens said.

Beck then removed one hand from masturbating under the table and dialed his stockbroker, buying oil futures.

See, the problem is not that Pickens said it’s going to happen; its the problem of lemmings. Unlike when Mr. Pickens predicted $85 per barrel oil and was laughed at, now people listen. They speculate based on his word, creating a frenzied buying spree of oil futures. A self fulfilling prophecy in the making, and you’ll be sure to pay at the pump…to the tune of $4.50 per gallon according to him.

The chairman of the board for BP Capital went on to suggest something outlandish: becoming energy independent. How novel…an oil man (he prefers that) suggesting going off oil. Incredible. Maybe we’re running the wrong guy for president here.

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