News, Politics, Satire and Humor:
PopToast...the news as we see it.

Digging to start at Manson ranch

Investigators are set to begin digging Marilyn Manson’s ranch. Twenty CSI investigators will begin putting links from Manson’s website onto the popular social news site, digg.com. Kevin Rose, creator of digg.com, says that the site is prepared for the additional traffic and due to its neutral nature, he welcomes “any freaky posting, ’cause thats how I roll”.

Manson gained notoriety following his Mechanical Animals album cover when he showed off his rack, making millions of straight guys questions their sexuality. When asked why he chose to expose himself. Manson replied, “I used to strap them down, but now I feel that if God gave me boobies, I should be proud of them”.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/05/20/manson.ranch.ap/index.html

Supreme Court Upholds Child Pornography Law

Supreme Court Upholds Child Pornography …. Law

The 7-2 ruling rejected contentions that a 2003 Federal pornography law was written so vaguely as to violate the First Amendment. The law in question erected a sensible yet acceptable tact by Congress to correct faults dubiously found in a previous Child Porn law.

Justice Scalia cited earlier Supreme Court rulings and declared that the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit had employed strong medicine too casually with the cases in hand.

Today’s decision in United States v. Williams reinstated the conviction of Michael Williams, caught in a federal undercover operation in April 2004 and found guilty later of “pandering” child pornography.

Go Team!!

- Busted

Reporter Pwned!

The Best Valedictorian Speech - Ever!

Brandon, a 17 year old high school student, is giving a speech to his classmates as well as teachers etc. This speech has actually stirred a controversy with parents. I’ll have more on this story here as it develops!


Funniest Valedictorian Speech Ever - Watch more free videos

Woody Alien at Cannes

Woody Alien’s latest film captures an American Fantasy. A romantic encounter with 2 women. The scenario slips below the fantasy threshold when you add an Alien.

When asked, Alien told reporters it is ‘hard enough to get one person.’ What the hell does that mean? Get them to WHAT? Go for a ride on your space ship?

In most situations.. or shall we say close encounters of the third kind, ‘two tends to make it more complicated than one’ said Alien. Well put! One might surmise this a truth if you are human. But if you are ALIEN it is more likely problem solved.

Wonders never cease.

So, what do you do if you are Alien and want 2 young chicks for the price of one??? MAKE A MOVIE and tell the girls it’s gonna debut at Cannes!

Pure Genius, Pure Alien

Woofsome,

- Buster

Bush Rallies For Poor Oil Companies: Production Boost Not Enough

In an attempt to save potential profit margins for his oil-producing buddies, Dubya Bush fired an opening salvo at his friends with their hands on the oil spigots. George Bush said on Saturday that the Saudi increase of 30,000 barrels per day was just, “not enough to ease the crisis [aka the mess I've created in my eight year administration] that Americans are facing.”

Bush hopes that this open dialogue can get the Saudis to reverse course, cutting the barrel production by 30,000 and, thus, say again that refineries are the blame for soaring gas prices. The national average of gas per gallon is now well over $3.60 per gallon and expected by some economists to hit the $5.00 mark by September.

“If the Saudi’s increase production too much,” GW continued, “then how will my friends at Shell and Mobil be able to raise prices? This will cause the one sector of our economy that is not yet in the toilet to spiral out of control into an abyss that the little people…I mean common Americans…are facing.”

Gotta love when your commander in chief slaps the hand that feeds him. 247 more days of this crap to go.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aGupBedhGP5w&refer=home

Edwards, Obama, McCain, Clinton

I’d like to personally thank all the web bots, Obama, McCain, Clinton, Edwards, for lifting material from news dot poptoast dot com. There is nothing more heart warming than reading things we have written on someone else’s site. Ya’ll come back now, ya hear? WooF! ….Busta

PS… shout out to Obama, and Clinton

Edwards flips support to Obama

John Edwards, who departed the presidential race in January recently bestowed (aka sold) his support from 19 Super Delegates to Money Tycoon Barack Obama for an undisclosed figure.

The 19 Super Delegates were in shock when they realized that their support pledge was shrouded in a Key Man Clause. “Nothing can be done about it now, we are screwed.” Said one of the Delegates. “Chances are, we won’t get a taste either. Next election will be another story, if our great nation survives the next 4 years.”

Reps. James McDermott of Washington says “I believe now is the time to unite behind Barack Obama so we can be in the strongest place possible to win in November,”

Mr McDermott recently opened a bank account in Argentina.

WooF!

- Busta

CRLL seeks BFSM

Chris Robinson look alike (CRLL) seeks Big Fat Sexy Mama (BFSM) to satisfy his big infatuation with the full figured ladies. Tequila shots are on the bar waiting 4 U. Goddamn!

California Supreme Court overturns ban on Gay Marriage

California aka Californication has overturned the ban on Gay marriage. This is a big step forward for same sex marriage and giant leap toward reducing over population.

Jeanie Rizzo one of the plaintiffs said “This is a very historic day.”

The challenge for gay rights advocates is far from over. “We will not stop until everyone is gay.” said a guy “and we also will not rest until the word ‘gay’ no longer refers to being happy.”

Outside the courthouse, gay marriage supporters cheered, kissed and exchanged phone numbers. There were no children present.

The Pope could not be reached for comment.

- BUsteR